Delight

Uncategorized

I am not delighted right now.  Delight, in fact, seems about as far away as Pluto.

Today I went to a health check kindly supplied by my employer.  It went badly.  While there is currently no official diagnosis, it’s safe to say that I have diabetes.  I am booked for more tests at the crack of dawn to confirm this un-delightful news.

It’s somewhat cruel timing, right when I was working on the next post inspired by the Double Delight rose.  Thinking about delight has been delightful, a second helping if you like.  I came to realise that things that delight me  are actually quite modest.  Flowers obviously.  I delight in the space between waking and sleeping, nestled in the gentle warmth of the doona and still in contact with my deeper self. I delight in the daily affections of the Iron Paw. I delight in unhurried breakfasts in bed, although I have found that soft poached eggs are a challenge to eat in a semi horizontal position.

There is so much about food to delight in. I don’t mean in a fancy, cheffy way. I mean the textural delight of fresh cherries, one the oozing delight of a soft cheese, or the crispy delight of roasted potatoes. I’m about to lose all that, or at the very least have it severely curtailed. Food will no longer be a source on anticipatory delight and will instead become a source of stress and regrets.

What I’m most upset about is that I thought I’d staved this off.about this time three years ago, I went to emergency with chest pains. I wasn’t having a heart attack. It was stress, and my body was telling me it was unhappy with me. (It had valid reasons). The battery of tests showed that I was borderline on blood glucose. ‘Not to worry’ they cheerfully promised. It can all be fixed with lifestyle changes.

Despite a number of obstacles such as the job from hell, a PhD in its death throes and the death of my father, I changed a number of things to save my health. That included leaving the job from hell, taking time off, overhauling my diet and cutting back on the wine. Did it work???????????? Not if today’s result is anything to go by. And where is there for me to go now now that I don’t eat jasmine rice or white bread or….?

One of the stalwart delights of my life, unalloyed pleasure in food, is evaporating. I’m not delighted right now. I’m doubly depressed. Which is not how I wanted to start this project at all. This project was supposed to lead me to a happier future than the hell that I have been dwelling in for some time.

Advertisements

Hello and welcome

Uncategorized

This blog is about a project that I have had in mind for some years. I’m a retiring sort, prone to lovely ideas but historically lacking the confidence to make them happen and promote myself. So far two book ideas I’ve had have passed me by into print under someone else’s name. I’m determined not to let this one escape.

My plan is to develop a card deck of roses, for people who like the idea of meditation decks but who are not comfortable with the many decks available with religious or new age overtones. Secondly, I’d like to extend the deck project into a book that is more generally about themed gardens. I have employed a local photographer, as way of kicking myself into action. If I have professional images, then I am committed to producing text and seeking a publisher.

In my early twenties I discovered gardening, and in particular, roses. At that time I was unemployed, severely depressed, and living in a house whose interior décor was, simply put, horrific. The living room had pizza carpet, a different kind of flocked wallpaper on every wall, and bright orange synthetic silk curtains. It’s miracle I got out of that house alive. It also explains why I spent so much time outside, where I got to be deep friends with Climbing Queen Elizabeth at whose feet I had started a herb and vegetable garden.

800px-Rose_'Queen_Elizabeth'_1954

(Source: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Rose_%27Queen_Elizabeth%27_1954.jpg)

I used to cut bunches of Elizabeth and her other floral friends to improve the interior décor. I didn’t recognise any of them at the time, but I developed a deep appreciation for their toughness, reliability, beauty and sensuality. I didn’t realise it at the time, but I had fallen in love.

Since then, being an unstable sort at times, I have rented or owned thirteen gardens. All of which I had roses, either in the ground or in pots. My rosiest phase was a seaside town south of Perth, where I think I got to around seventy cultivars. Yes, I know, that’s a barely a drop in the ocean. I still have trainer wheels on. In the absence of a walled rose garden on a grand country estate (and a partner to help weed aforementioned estate), I have a small suburban garden in Canberra and the number of roses I can actually plant will always be small. But, I can write about as many as I like.

I do have a wider purpose though. The subtitle gives it away. Blogging for a kinder, gentler and more creative world. Kindness, creativity, beauty are values I hold dear. I also feel that thoughtfulness, consideration and self reflection, all qualities I find easier to access in nature, count for a lot. In this I often feel like an outsider from daily life, full of schedules, goals, projects, and rushing along breathlessly until exhaustion hits. So roses will be the anchor, but the blog will also venture into other terrain.

So now, the first rose.

(Source: The author)

(Source: The author)

I choose the one that prompted me to commit to this project. And here she is. Double Delight, released in 1977. I’m going to write more about her in my next post, but for time being I shall leave you with a question. What delights you?

Love, Kylie.