Techno baby steps

Emotional management, Floristry, Work

A tiny amount of progress has been made.

My fledgling business now has an email.  Although I am in full on doubt mode again following what I made in class last night.  We were practicing A-line designs, and I started to let that nasty inner perfectionist pipe up.

I’m not particularly happy with either of them.   But of course I am comparing myself to my teacher’s demonstration last night and she has 20 years experience in some of the most prestigious venues in Canberra.  More practice…and less judgement.  If someone received either one of these, I imagine they would still be delighted.

Onwards…now it’s a decision between going with Facebook or instagram so that there is a visual address on this simple little business card project.

Peace and kindness to you all.

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Treading water

Embroidery, Emotional management, Family, Stress, Uncategorized

It has been a while since my last post, frankly because I have been swamped with pain and drama.

On the pain front, I lost sensation in my right hand and have been forking out for physio and massage in order to get things working again. I was almost back to full function when there was a relapse, and I was back to being unable to turn my head to the right.  More massage, which sounds delightful but actually leaves you sore to the very touch.

On the drama front, none of it has been of my own creation but it is within my inner circle and therefore I’ve had to make some response to it. I mentioned previously that my mother had been diagnosed with cancer.  Turns out this was wrong, but on the other hand now she’s had a heart attack.  And the other involved a suicide attempt.  Fortunately unsuccessful.  The person who tried has only told me and while I appreciate the level of trust, it is at the same time a terrible burden.

So with all that, plus work and teaching, I am having a hard time keeping my head above water. I couldn’t care less about work and am wondering how I can structure my life so that I only need do as little as possible, and free up the rest of my time for what gives me energy and delight.

My hand issues have slowed down the embroidery but I am doing bits and pieces in the evenings. This photo is a simple experiment in colour and geometry, variations on circles on a background of chartreuse green wool.

I’ve attempted patchwork.  Not sure if this is really for me but I’m not shutting the door yet.  And on the weekends I have been doing textile related things but not ones that involved fine work.  I made an attempt at wax resist dyeing, but I forgot to add salt to the dye so the result is not going to be stable.  Plus I have discovered it’s a bastard getting the wax out after.

I also tried dyeing some yard with a natural dye.  Epic fail on my part.  I used the ivy trimmings from the garden, as I am constantly needing to stop the neighbours ivy jungle from taking over my place.  It turned green but despite using an alum mordant, both yarns refused to change.  If I was generous I could say that the cream wool turned from cream to a faint yellow.  Certainly there was no colour left in the pot but I am not sure where it went.

It’s probably a bit like my equanimity.

The despondent diabetic

Diabetes, Emotional management

I had a good day yesterday.  I did some exercise, had a very safe lunch with a lovely friend, did some work on the new novel, did some preparation for the job interview I have on Thursday, and had an equivalently safe dinner.

Why, therefore, is my blood sugar over 8 this morning?

I could cry.

I find these illogical variations very distressing and de motivating.  All I fancy now is to go and eat something that I WANT to eat, like pancakes in maple syrup, or brick sized slabs of toast, or how about a croissant oozing with cheese?

If there is no correlation between what I do and these readings, then WTF am I on this lifelong path of deprivation for?  WHAT DO I DO???????????????